Wake up. Take a shower.
When I was in my 20s, depressed and in the grips of a vicious eating disorder, I confessed all to my Doctor. She knew me well, having been my Dr. since I was 17. I was miserable and almost 300lbs and was beginning to think the world would be a better place without me. These were dark days....... I sat in her office and cried and spilled all the beans. She was lovely. Life saving. I got into a group of young women battling the same demons. Knowing that I wasn't alone, that I didn't invent my disorder, was so empowering. This was something I HAD, not something that was wrong with me. After strategizing and coming up with a good plan of action she sent me home with only one assignment. Wake up, take a shower. That's it. That's it? Yep. We'll check in next week. This week, wake up, take a shower, put on clean clothes. That's it.
To this day I follow her advice. It's become a habit. It doesn't matter if I'm about to do yard work or go to the gym or sit around and Netflix. The very first thing I do every single day is something I do to take care of myself. The list of things I do each day to take care of myself has gotten longer, but it always starts this simply.
Posting this story for a few reasons. Being honest about where you are is the best place to start. Ask for help. Talk to people. It's ok to be in a bad place. Name your demon. Second, you’re not going to be able to conquer all of your issues in one day. I started with admiting to my Doctor that I was bingeing uncontrollably. The next day, I woke up and took a shower. I knew things were going to get better because I had said it out loud. The next week I began my treatment. I did get better.
Take care of yourself. Whatever that means. I'm not going to give you the oxygen mask analogy but..... ok. It's pretty good. You have to put your own mask on first. No one is coming to save you if you're suffering in silence. You have to reach out first. If you're stuck in a ditch, RAISE YOUR HAND. People will come to help you. You'll have to do most of the work to get out of that ditch yourself, but people will help you. I'd even go as far as saying it's impossible to get anywhere without help. I think humans were designed to need eachother, and that's a good thing. It's ok. We're all going to be OK!
Off to take my shower…